30 Days of Celexa

I've been on Celexa for 30 days now, so theoretically I should be doing much better. And I am doing much better, but I wouldn't say normal. Since it's been over 30 days on the medicine, I thought I would be clever and sleep without trazodone last night. It didn't go so well. I tossed & turned much of the night and woke up with a nervous stomach and chest tension. The good news is that it wasn't so severe that I was unable to eat. It's just kind of annoying. The other good news is that I've been sleeping great with it. I've got enough trazodone to last three months and I don't think there are any issues with using it so I'll stick with it for now.
I haven't taken any Xanax in over a week and most places I go out it doesn't occur to me that I might need one, so that's a step forward. The first real public test will be this Sunday. I'm playing keys at church to gauge where I'm at. If I'm going to have a panic attack or any issues, it would be there with performance pressure in front of people. I'm still not practicing though ;-) (Just kidding Jodi)

This will be much easier than leading a service. I'm not planning any of it or in charge of anything, I just have to be in the band and goof off with the rest of those slackers while Jodi tries to make us quit doing blues jams. (I got my Rhodes fingers at the ready)

I was planning the weekend so that I would be nice and relaxed before Sunday, but we're having the memorial for my grandma on Saturday and I doubt it will be very relaxing. Hopefully that won't matter though. I am a little nervous about Sunday just because I don't want to be disappointed by another attack.

I feel bad about going straight to the big boy medicine before looking into alternatives. I have received a lot of tips about natural remedies for anxiety and stress. (thanks for those) The problem was that not only was I having panic attacks, but I was so panicked about my condition and being unable to work (not to mention living a miserable existence for a time) that I jumped on the doctor's recommendation without giving it a second thought. I told this to my psychologist and she said that's silly, but I still wonder what else might have been possible.

There are some side effects to Celexa and it's a long term drug, so I'll have to deal with that. The most prominent is dry mouth. I feel parched all day every day. My dentist told me that without enough saliva in your mouth your tooth decay and cavity rate increases. He told me to get some gum with xylitol in it (I choose stride because it really is ridiculously long lasting) to stimulate the salivary glands and use a flouride rinse at night for added protection. I used to drink a 2 liter bottle of mountain dew in one day when I was a skateboarding teenager and I didn't floss, so I have watches all over my mouth in between the teeth. I've already had more than 10 fillings since I started going to the dentist on my own and I'd like to keep my normal teeth as long as possible. I hate chewing gum but I'm having about four pieces a day now.

Whenever I sang on stage I always had a cough drop in my mouth to keep from being too dry as it is. Hopefully that's still enough to do the job. Gum is a bit tacky on stage, even for a laid back church.

Well that's enough typing for one day.