Big Long Post Part 2

I split today's writing into two posts to help borderline ADHD people like myself not be overwhelmed. Plus I got to find two appropriate pictures which is entertaining. (FYI – I took the bored DJ one but the other is a random shot I found on flickr.)

We now resume the rest of our program.

I'm learning a lot about myself through everything that is happening. In the past I have usually been too weak to say no to things that put extra stress on me. I realized this last week when I had to back down from a couple projects that I had already said yes to. The tension knot forming in my chest was the same old friend who has been with me since my late teens. Whenever I would get overwhelmed or over committed, I would always have this chest tightness and feel like I was going to burst. I don't think I mentioned it to anyone besides my wife because I didn't realize how serious it was. (She told me to buck up and finish the dishes.)

I'm still having a hard time finding enjoyment in hobbies, movies or games right now though. It could be depression or it could be something else. I keep switching focus to different things at home because nothing can hold my attention for as long as it used to. (Except typing I guess – look at me go!) At least if it's depression the medicine I'm on will help take care of that as well. I suspect that the previously mentioned Fallout 3 will also help with this problem, but that's not for another three weeks yet. Plus I'm a cheapskate so I have to wait an extra 3-5 days for Amazon's free shipping.

Overall I think it's a good thing that these attacks have happened to me because I am more aware of my physical & mental condition now and know my limits. Since I'm in a fragile state right now, I'm keenly aware when something is too much for me and I will say so. (plus people will actually believe me now!) I think I will continue to be more aware in the future and take better care of myself. That is why from now on I'm answering every email I get with a rickroll link and nothing else.